Tuesday, June 30, 2009

God Is In Control

I've been very slack in my blogging lately. I'll admit it's mostly because I spend more time using Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. But, I need to get back into blogging, because it truly is what I enjoy more than any of the others.

I've had A LOT on my mind lately, but have been struggling with how to get it all down on paper (on screen). Sometimes, as hard as this is to believe, I'm at a loss for words. This post will probably go in about a hundred different directions and may possibly get lengthy. I'm simply going to type as the thoughts come to my mind, so please bear with me.

As I mentioned above, I use Tumblr, which can be used as a blog, but I use it to post (mainly re-blogs) quotes, pictures, etc. that I love. Rarely do I post anything original (as in, my own) on there. There have been a few things on there lately that have just made me stop and REALLY think. There are really too many to post on here at one time, so I'll go with the ones that have most recently had me thinking the MOST.
"The only people you need in life are the ones that need you in theirs.
- Unknown

MY THOUGHTS: It's hard for a people pleaser, like me, to come to terms with the fact that there are people in life who simply want to use & discard you, all the while never once entertaining the thought that you may just be what they need in their life. I've had to step back and look at things from a distance lately. That's not easy to do. It's not easy realizing that people who call themselves your "friend" really are anything but that. Even harder is removing yourself from the situation. I've had to do A LOT of 'weeding' in my relationships over the last couple of years. It's true what they say ... "You realize who your true friends are when you've lost everything and have nothing to offer." My Daddy always told me that by the time I was an adult, I would be able to count my TRUE friends on one hand. I used to scoff at him when he would make that statement. Unfortunately, he was so RIGHT! I don't say any of this to imply that I'm a perfect friend - I am NOT! I have made many mistakes & failed miserably many times. Thank God for forgiveness and restoration. None of us are perfect!

MY THOUGHTS: Seems simple enough, but … what if the ONLY option you’re ever given is to leave someone alone? The truth is, everyone wants to be loved. And, I'm not speaking of only romantic love. People want to feel loved by family, friends, etc. While I agree that the two options are really the only ones there are, if you're never given the chance to love someone, how are these options fair? There are many people in my life, in the past and currently, who I have tried to show love to. For whatever reason, they avoid me, shut me out, etc. I used to blame myself for these actions, but I've had to come to realize that A LOT of the time, people have been hurt so badly that the only choice they feel they have is to put up huge walls. I've also come to realize that I have huge walls built up around me. I've missed out on A LOT of opportunities for love, friendship, happiness, etc. because I've been too afraid to take a risk and let down my guard. It's taken me a long time to wrap my mind around the fact that God does not want me to live in fear. He wants me to give Him my life and trust in him completely. Since I've come to grips with that, my life has been so much happier. That's not to say that I don't have bad days - I do! It's not to say that I don't have worries - I do! But, when it's all said & done, God already has my life mapped out and He wants me to stop trying to control things & listen for His voice. With that said, don't put yourself in the confines of a box and give people only the option of 'leaving you alone.' You'll miss out on so much if you don't also give them the option of 'love me.' We must realize, however, that with this option comes the chance of being hurt. We must have faith in God & trust that He'll never give us more than we can handle. Life is full of hurts! We'll never know true happiness & contentment until we're willing to listen to & follow God's direction. So, take some risks! God's in CONTROL!
The past few years have been very difficult, but I know that God is using all of it for a purpose. He has a plan for my life and I'm so excited to see where He takes me. I will have to remind myself EVERY SINGLE DAY that I cannot stand in His way; that I need to seek His will, listen to His voice & follow His direction! Otherwise, I'll never be in the center of His will for my life! And, if I'm not in the center of His will, I'll never know true peace, contentment & happiness!

Thanks to all of you who have loved, supported & encouraged me. Most importantly, thanks to all of you who have lifted me up in prayer! I love & appreciate all of you more than you will ever know!

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