Friday, January 9, 2009

3 Years Today

Today is the 3-year anniversary of my Daddy's death. It is so hard to believe that it's been that long. In some ways, it feels like yesterday & in other ways, it seems like 20 years ago. Looking back over the last 3 years, life has changed so much for me & my family. The past year has not been kind to any of us and I can't begin to remember all the times that I've just wanted to talk to Daddy and have him tell me everything is going to be okay. But, I believe that Daddy's spirit is still very much alive and that God has a way of wrapping His arms around me when I need it most. This past Christmas was the first one since 2005 that was actually enjoyable. It's easier to talk about him now and not break down. Time has a way of making it a little less painful. But, there will never be a time when we don't miss him. And, there will always be times of great sadness because he is no longer with us. My times of great sadness almost always come at the strangest of times. It's usually when I hear some song on the radio, like a couple of weeks ago when Prince's 1999 came on and I fell apart. You see, I have vivid memories of hearing that song on the radio when I was a little girl and asking him "Daddy, how old will I be in 1999?" And, he'd always say, "You'll be 23, but that's so far away." Oh what I'd give to have him back here to tell me that. I wish that he could've known Candice, my brother's girlfriend. He would've loved her. She reminds me of him, actually. She has such a quick wit & wonderful sense of humor, just like him. Daddy would be thrilled to see my brother so happy and even more thrilled to see someone accept my nephew & treat him as her own. What a blessing she has been in all of our lives. And, I'd like to think that my Daddy had some role in it. :-) This evening, our family will sit down and share a meal, like we've done so many times since he died. We may laugh, we may cry, we may do a little of both, but we will remember a man who died too young & will miss out on so many milestones in all of our lives. However, one thing is for certain . . . he still lives in our hearts & always will. Thank you to all of you who have been there for me & my family over the years. Each of you have made it a little easier to continue on.

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