2 Years Ago

It's terribly hard to believe, but 2 years ago today . . . this is what I was going through!!! I decided I would just copy excerpts from a few e-mails I sent out to friends & family about that day!

[Christmas 2005 - Last Family Photo]

1/9/2006 - 12:06 a.m.

Daddy is in the hospital - Greenville Memorial, Room 2337. Mom & I had gone out together this morning/early afternoon to do a few things & [brother] was staying with daddy. [Brother] called us a little before 1:00 today & said that daddy wasn't breathing very well & was basically unconscious. By the time we got home, [brother] had called EMS & they were in the process of getting him ready to transport to the ER. We spent all day in the critical care section of the ER. The doctors have told us that they do not think he will make it through the night. He is unconscious and barely breathing. He is on oxygen & they have put him on a morphine drip. His wishes have been very clear from the beginning . . . that he did NOT want to be put on life support, etc. So, we are basically, at this hour, waiting for the Lord to call him home. I know that he is ready - he & I have had that conversation numerous times. He has fought a very long battle, but he just cannot continue to fight. He weighs less than 100 pounds and is so frail. It has been very difficult to watch him go through this, but he has been so strong & for so very long. We knew this day would come, but you are never prepared to lose a loved one. Sometimes I get very angry and question why God would take my daddy away from me at such a young age (if almost 30 is young), but God knows what he's doing. I do not want to see my daddy suffer anymore. I will miss him so very much & my life will never be the same, but I am at peace knowing that he will definitely be in a much better place when he passes from this life. THANK YOU to all of you who have been so very supportive to me & my family during this very difficult time in our lives. We will most definitely need your continued support & prayers. Thank you to everyone who has already been to the hospital or called, though I hope you know that I certainly do not expect any of this. The only thing I need is your prayers & support. Just knowing you're there means more to me than any of you will ever know. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I am truly grateful every day. Please pray for us - that God will give us the strength we need during this time. I will keep you posted. I love all of you.

[Christmas 2005]

1/9/2006 - 11:03 a.m.

I just wanted to let all of you know that daddy passed away this morning around 5:00. He went peacefully. We know he is in a better place, though we will miss him so very much. We have an appointment to make arrangements at 2:00 today. Daddy's wish was to be cremated; however, we are planning on having a visitation and memorial service. I will update you with the specifics when we have them set. I appreciate (as does my entire family) your continued prayers & support during this very difficult time. I love all of you.

Cancer took my daddy's life, but it can't take away all the memories I have! I miss my daddy more now than I did the day he died. I have started a 'new normal' for my life, but there will always be a longing in my heart for him.

Today, I took some time to reflect on the past two years and to remember him. Dear friends of the family took my mom, my brother & me out to dinner and it was wonderful & so very thoughtful of them.

I will end with one of my favorite 'poems' by Maya Angelou. It is a reflection of how I feel about life & tells a little bit of how losing my daddy has changed my attitude towards things.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I miss you daddy & love you very much! Until we meet again . . .