Today, January 9th, is the 1-year anniversary of my daddy's death. It seems like only yesterday, but in some ways, it seems like forever. A part of me died with him that day. I sometimes wonder if the pain will ever go away. I have had happy moments since his death, but things are most definitely not the same anymore. I miss him more today than I did yesterday. Sometimes, my heart literally aches for him. I've done okay, for the most part, since his death, but there are days when it's all I can do to make it through the day. The past two days have been just that. Hardly any sleep and lots of tears. I know he wouldn't want me to grieve for him forever. But, I just miss him so very much. He loved me very much & I know that. We had our moments, like all family do, but we had developed a close relationship in the last years of his life (even before he was diagnosed with cancer). I miss that so much. He was easy to talk to about pretty much anything. He had his opinion and you never wondered what it was. I guess I take after him A LOT. We didn't always agree, but it was always okay. He could say just about anything & I would double over with laughter. He was THE FUNNIEST person I knew. Even on the worst of days, he could cheer me up. That's what I miss most . . . the laughter. Sometimes I can still hear his voice. Sometimes it feels like he's in the room with me. I know he's in a better place and I know I'll see him again. All of this brings me great comfort. He will live on forever in my heart. I found this poem that summed up my feelings for my daddy and I wanted to share it. It's below:
( by Judy Burnette )
Contact Judy Burnette
images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in
things have never been the same.
What happened to those lazy
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you,
your love, and in your smile.
What happened to all those times
I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
make my gray skies blue.
Dad, some days I hear your voice
to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been
Dad, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make
Who will be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't
Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my
Please always know I love you
and no one can take your
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.
Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
go and find my dad
and give him all my love.
Thank you to all of you who have been so loving, supportive & encouraging over the past year. Without you, my precious friends, I would've never gotten through the darkest time in my life. I love all of you very much!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF JAMES EDWARD HENDRICKSON