Tuesday, January 9, 2007

In Loving Memory of Daddy

Today, January 9th, is the 1-year anniversary of my daddy's death. It seems like only yesterday, but in some ways, it seems like forever. A part of me died with him that day. I sometimes wonder if the pain will ever go away. I have had happy moments since his death, but things are most definitely not the same anymore. I miss him more today than I did yesterday. Sometimes, my heart literally aches for him. I've done okay, for the most part, since his death, but there are days when it's all I can do to make it through the day. The past two days have been just that. Hardly any sleep and lots of tears. I know he wouldn't want me to grieve for him forever. But, I just miss him so very much. He loved me very much & I know that. We had our moments, like all family do, but we had developed a close relationship in the last years of his life (even before he was diagnosed with cancer). I miss that so much. He was easy to talk to about pretty much anything. He had his opinion and you never wondered what it was. I guess I take after him A LOT. We didn't always agree, but it was always okay. He could say just about anything & I would double over with laughter. He was THE FUNNIEST person I knew. Even on the worst of days, he could cheer me up. That's what I miss most . . . the laughter. Sometimes I can still hear his voice. Sometimes it feels like he's in the room with me. I know he's in a better place and I know I'll see him again. All of this brings me great comfort. He will live on forever in my heart. I found this poem that summed up my feelings for my daddy and I wanted to share it. It's below:

( by Judy Burnette )
Contact Judy Burnette

Dad...so many
images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in
my life
things have never been the same.

What happened to those lazy
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you,
your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times
I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
you could
make my gray skies blue.

Dad, some days I hear your voice
and turn
to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been

Dad, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make
Who will be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you
go and find my dad
and give him all my love.


Thank you to all of you who have been so loving, supportive & encouraging over the past year. Without you, my precious friends, I would've never gotten through the darkest time in my life. I love all of you very much!

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Cassie said...

I stumbled across your page some how tonight and couldn't help reading about your dad. March 7th was 1year and 3months since my mom passed away. She too had cancer. I though you might like this.
Cassie Cartwright


Cassie said...

I thought the poem would show up but since it didn't this is what it says.

In Our Hearts

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday.
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence,
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.
God has you in his keeping,
We have you in our heart.

Cassie said...

I don't have a blogger account. I have a myspace account. I'm not even sure if I am writing where I should be. My e-mail address is vanhorncassie@hotmail.com. I really would like to talk with you more. We have so much in common it scares me that I accidentally found this page while looking for something else. Maybe my mom had a hand in helping me find you. Well let me tell you a little about my self. I live in Northeastern N.C. close to the Outer Banks. I will be 26 years old on March 31st. I will be married for 2 years on June 3rd. My husband Ashley and I have been together for 10 years this May! We have two beautiful little girls. Haley will be 7 March 17th and Laney turned 5 on March 5th. All my Daddy's girls were born in March.(LOL) We are also active in the Relay For Life. Last year my oldest daughter Haley raised $270.00 for the "2007" Kids Walk. For that she won "Little Miss Relay" I am so proud of her. Her goal last year was the same as it is this year ($500.00) hopefully she will reach her goal and if not at least get pretty close to it. We also do the luminescence in my Mom's Memory. We have walked with her every year since 2001 and will not stop now just because she isn't walking with us. We are walking for her now! Well I hope to talk with you soon.