Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

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As someone who falls into the 'hopelessly single' category, this particular holiday isn't for me! I usually get a little down & out because everyone else has a special someone in their life - receiving flowers, cards, jewelry, chocolates, etc. But, this year . . . I surprised myself. I mean, really SURPRISED myself! I don't know if it's because I've been 'shoveling crap' for the last few months and have more to worry about than whether I have a man in my life or not OR if I've just gotten comfortable & content with my situation.

Now, if you knew me 10 years ago, it was quite a different scenario. I had the opinion that I wasn't complete without a man in my life. I didn't think I had a great life because I lacked that. I cried A LOT over the state of my life in the relationship category. I've never really been a big 'dater' to begin with, though. I've only dated a handful (maybe a handful & a half) of guys in my ENTIRE life (all almost 32 years of it). I would've married 3 of them, which now . . . SCARES me (at least for 2 of them). I've been hurt & disappointed time and time again. A LOT of it MY fault - for 'falling' too quickly, for not getting the warning signs, for feeling like I was better off as long as I had someone in my life. Throughout the course of things, I've developed a distrust of people in general, but especially men.

I've joked with my friends over the last several years that God will have to strike me in the forehead with a lightning bolt to get my attention on "Mr. Right" (if that person really exists). I no longer focus on whether or not I have a man in my life. I'd rather be happy alone than miserable with someone. I've watched far too many people suffer in relationships of 'convenience' and I don't want that for my life. Don't get me wrong . . . I WANT to get married and have children, but I also WANT God's will for my life. So, I have focused more on Jennifer (me) and less on other things over the last couple of years. And, I think I've gotten into a place of complete contentment, which several years ago didn't even look like a possibility. I will say that I am proud of myself for that.

On this day of all-things-LOVE, I wanted to say how much I love my friends & family! The past couple of years have not been easy for me - losing two of the most important people in my life (my grandmother & my daddy), financial issues, self-esteem issues, family problems, etc. Through it all, there have been a circle of you (and YOU know who YOU are) who have NEVER faltered in your friendship. I've learned in the last few years that saying you're a friend and actually being a friend are two totally different things. But, I also believe that nobody comes into your life without a purpose & a reason. I suppose some people are only for a season, while others last a lifetime. To my 'lifetimes' - - - I love you very much!! Thank you for always being there to listen, support, encourage, laugh, cry, lean on, etc.

Today, I felt more love than I've felt in a long time. From the sweet e-cards to the snail mail cards to the chocolates, flowers, balloons, teddy bears & giftcards - - - it was ALL very much appreciated! It wasn't about the 'things,' though. It was about the love you showed to a friend. And, I will forever be grateful!!!!

I hope everyone reading this had a very Happy Valentine's Day and felt loved all day long. But, I also hope that you will feel loved every single minute of every single day. You never know what kind of impact a smile, a hug, a card, etc. will do for a person. I've been in a very low place lately & God knew that I needed some encouraging, especially on a day like today. So, YAY God!!!! And, a big thank you to all of my precious friends & family!!! I love, love, LOVE you!!!

Here's one of my favorite poems by Mother Teresa that I believe is so true. I hope you enjoy it!!!

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4 comments:

Kelley said...

Congratulations on winning the cute pink slippers over at Fun and Free give aways!

Kelley said...

Congratulations on winning over at Fun and Free Giveaways!

Christine said...

You are in a very good place. I married a man, had three children with him and stayed with him far more years than I should have. I allowed him to frightened me into staying in a totally unhealthy relationship for a good part of 17 years. I got divorced five years ago May 22nd. And on July 22nd that same year I met my soulmate. I was 40 and being only 3 months out of a horrible relationship I was NOT looking for the love of my life. It is amazing what can happen when you are concentrating on the positive things in your life! God bless you and Happy Valentine's Day (a day late).

kailani said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!